Gym Wuss No More

There's one downside about working out at the gym: I've become a wuss about running in the cold.

It wasn't always this way.

A couple years ago it didn't matter if the temperature outside was twenty below zero. I'd just put on an extra sweatshirt and head outside at 5:00 a.m. and run, run, run.

Then to accommodate a new work schedule and other demands on my time, I started working out at the gym during lunch. It was convenient, but because I was running indoors, I lost the ability to shrug off cold temperatures.

Until this weekend.

Since I had about 10 days off, I needed to run. Sure, I can miss a day here or there and not have it be a big deal. But I can't miss 10 days in a row.

I'd go crazy.

While the gym is conveniently located close to my place of employment, its many locations are NOT convenient from my home. So driving to the closest gym every day wasn't an option.

And by my second day off, I was pacing the living room, looking out at the snow, trying to find the courage to go running.

Then Marathon Girl walked by.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I need to go running," I said.

"Well, why don't you go?"

"It's cold outside."

Marathon Girl gave me one of those "This is the ‘man' I've married?" looks. That look alone should have been enough to get me out the door. But sometimes, when I really don't want to do something, I dig in my heels and become really stubborn.

I dug in my heels.

"It's below freezing outside," I said.

Marathon Girl just stared at me.

"It's way below freezing," I said.

Marathon Girl just stared at me.

"I could die from exposure and then you'd be a widow with three point five kids to raise."

Marathon Girl just stares at me.

I finally get the message. She's been walking everyday in the cold, hoping to get this baby out of her with no luck. Why am I being such a wuss?

So I tucked my tail between my legs and went running.

I came back 40 minutes later, sweating and feeling great.

"You survived," Marathon Girl said.

I smiled. "Not only did I survive, but it was great to breathe in the cold, winter air."

Marathon Girl just smiled and returned to her book.

I'm a gym wuss no more.

My Life: Seven Years Later

My latest post on the OpentoHope site was posted today.

November tenth is a day that creeps up on me now.

It wasn’t always this way.

In past years it was a day heavy with memories, emotions, and unanswered questions.

Now it’s a day just like any other.

This year it wasn’t until after lunch that I looked at the calendar in my office and noted the date. Suddenly, I realized what day it was. I pushed my laptop to the side and looked out the window at the green grass and sunshine. In seconds the memory of hearing a gunshot from our bedroom and finding my late wife’s lifeless body flashed through my mind followed by a tinge of the raw terror that flowed through my body that afternoon.

You can read it in its entirity here.

Swimming: My Respite from Reality

When temperatures are routinely climbing past 100 degrees Fahrenheit, it makes me glad I’ve incorporated swimming into my gym routine once or twice a week – depending on my workout schedule. Yesterday after giving my abs and shoulders a good workout, I headed for the pool. The water was nice and cold compared to the hot sweaty gym. The water felt so good that after my 20 minute swim, I didn’t want to leave the pool. Just wanted to float in the water and pretend there wasn’t a crushing load of work to deal with back at the office or that I’d be sweating in the hot car again after heading back to the office.

Since there was no one else in the pool I closed my eyes and floated on my back letting my breathing and heart rate slow, enjoying the still water and the silence that comes with having your ears below water.

For a few minutes my mind wandered.

I thought about what a better swimmer I am now than I was when I started swimming last month. I’m still the slowest swimmer in the pool, but my time, technique, and endurance have improved tremendously. Michael Phelps may not have to worry about me in the 2008 Beijing Olympics but he and the rest of the American swimming team better look out in 2012.

I ruminated over a problem I was having with one of the characters in my novel and whether or not I should eliminate him from the story altogether.

I wondered what Marathon Girl was doing and hoped she was taking some time to rest. Between taking care of three young kids and have a fourth one on the way, she needed those afternoon breaks when the kids are down for naps.

I started to think of something else but there was a disturbance in the water. I looked up. In the next lane a swimmer was barreling down the lane, toward my end of the pool. I watched him flip as he reached the end of the pool and headed back to the other end.

My respite from reality was over.

It was time to get back to work.

Ruby Red Laptop

What I bought Marathon Girl for her birthday.

And to think that Marathon Girl wasn't much of a computer perons when I married her.

Marathon Girl Knows What She's Talking About

Since I’m very busy at work, in the middle of writing a second book, and trying to be a good husband/father, the most convenient time for me to work out is during my lunch hour. This isn’t a big deal. There’s a gym close to my work and the exercise in the middle of the day keeps me sharp and focused for the remainder of the afternoon. The only downside to using the gym is, on days that I run, I’m forced to use a treadmill. I’d much rather be outside running – especially on days like today when the temperatures are in the high fifties and there’s nothing but blue skies and sunshine outside my office window. But since my office doesn’t have a shower handy, I go to the gym.

When I started running at the gym last summer, Marathon Girl informed me that running on a treadmill is a lot different than running outside. She said to best way mimic an outdoor run, I needed to make sure I was running on the treadmill with an incline of three percent. Running with no incline, she said, is like running downhill. As a result when you try to run outside again, you’ll struggle.

Of course, I ignored her advice. Sure, Marathon Girl’s a world-class runner, won two marathons, etc. but what could she possibly know about running on a treadmill? Not much, I thought.

So I had to learn my lesson the hard way. Back in February, Marathon Girl and I went on a run together. I had no expectations of keeping up with her but I was surprised at how hard the five mile run was for me. I had to stop three times and catch my breath.

During one of these breaks Marathon Girl asked if I was having a hard time with the course.

“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

“Do you get winded when you run at the gym?”

“No.”

“Are you running with an incline on the treadmill?”

I looked away. I wanted to blame the twenty pounds of muscle I’ve added in the last year, the cold weather, or anything except for the fact I hadn’t listened to her.

“That’s what I thought,” Marathon Girl said as she turned and started running again.

The next time I ran at the gym, I added a slight incline, slowly raising it every week until I can now complete a four mile run in under thirty minutes with a three percent incline.

Thankfully, all that hard work paid off.

Last Monday I didn’t have a chance to work out during lunch. After I got home Marathon Girl suggested we put the kids in the stroller and go running together. Of course she kicked my butt, but I was able to keep up with her and complete the entire run in a decent time without stopping or getting winded – even while pushing a stroller with Aidan in it.

After the run, Marathon Girl put her arm around me and complemented me on being able to keep up with her.

“I take it you’ve been running with an incline on the treadmill.”

“Yeah,” I said. “How on earth did you know.”

Marathon Girl just smiled at me and walked into the house.

I’m never ignoring her running advice again.

Finally, A Vacation

The phone call came like an answer to a prayer.

For several days Marathon Girl and I had been discussing when to take some time off and where to go on vacation. The phone rings. On the other end is my friend Brent.

Brent calls just to see how things are going and then mentions that the Tigers will be in town soon to play the Diamondbacks.

The Tigers are coming to Phoenix? I’m stunned. I looked at their schedule back in March and didn’t remember seeing that. I get online and discover that the Tigers do have three game series in Phoenix in mid-May.

Suddenly family vacation plans materialize. A trip to Phoenix to enjoy the company of friends, see their two kids, and squeeze in a Tigers baseball game.

And our trip would coincide with a wonderful event for Brent and his wife. The adoption of their second child is scheduled to be finalized that week and they have some fun things planned in celebration.

We’re still working out the details but it looks like the family heading to Phoenix sometime in mid-May.

Suddenly, I'm not so tired anymore.

Satisfaction

Go_Go Yubari was recently approached by a large company that was interested in employing her. They whisked her off to a big city and wined and dined her in order to persuade her to come join their team. Despite their persuasive sales pitch, she decided to stay where she was at because, in part, the proposed employment reminded her of an old job and the long hours and stress that accompanied it.

After parting ways with a well-paying but highly stressful job back in November, I applaud her choice. There’s so much more to a job than money, fancy titles, and the strings those usually accompany those two things. It’s not that I don’t find compensation or what I do for a living isn’t important. I do have a family support and life’s more enjoyable knowing you can make a mortgage payment and put food on the table. And writing makes me happy. I would perform much better at a job that required lots of writing as opposed to doing something else.

In addition to the above, a good job has always had three other important elements: 1) One that allows me to come home in a relatively stress free 80 percent of the time, 2) one that allows me to spend time with Marathon Girl and the kids and 3) doesn’t deplete my (creative) energy so I can write books after the kids are in bed.

When I set off on a job hunt back in November, I hoped that I could find a job that met all the criteria. Five weeks into my search, I ended up with three solid job offers. All paid very well and involved writing. So the determining factor was how well the job would allow me to accomplish the things I wanted to do after I came for from work. Like Go_Go Yubari, one of the offers reminded me too much of my old job in all the wrong ways. I turned it down. Two jobs left. My gut kept telling me which one to take. And since my gut feelings have never turned out to be wrong, I took the one I felt good about the first time I interviewed with the company.

I’ve been at my new job about four months. The family is clothed, fed, and has a roof over their head. There’s no worries about finances. I’m doing more writing with this new company than I ever did with my previous employer and seeing more results from my efforts. I usually have a good two to three hours to spend with the kids after work. And despite all the writing I accomplish during business hours, I’ve managed to make tons of progress on my second book after I kiss the kids goodnight. In the last two weeks, I’ve complete four chapters – about the same amount I was able to accomplish in a previous year with at my old job. Last night I went on a writing tear and wrote two thirds of another chapter in just under two hours.

Yeah, I made the right choice.

Getting to Know You

It was five years ago this month that Marathon Girl and I began dating seriously. One of my fondest memories of that time is sitting on her kitchen floor after a long morning run and talking about things like our favorite movies, books, and food.

Even though our opinions differed on a lot of things, I remember looking at her and thinking how comfortable I felt talking with her and sharing my thoughts and views. There was no worry between the two of us whether or not we even liked the same things. It was a chance to get to know the other person better and see how comfortable and compatible we could be even though in some ways we were very different from each other.

Even if you spend every day with someone, your tastes and opinions grow, develop, and change. Successful relationships are the ones where the husband and wife can still be in love with each other even as they slowly change over time.

Occasionally Marathon Girl and I have that conversation we had on her kitchen floor. We go over our list of favorite movies, actors, actresses, books, authors, athletes, sports teams, restaurants, main dishes, and hobbies. There are 35 items on our list and it's always fun to see where our opinions and tastes have changed since we first fell in love with each other.

Last night Marathon Girl and I had that conversation again. We brought out our list and asked the other person what some of their favorite things were. No, we don't guess what each other is going to say. We let the other person answer and then if the answer surprises us or has changed for some reason, we talk about why their tastes have changed.

Out of the 35 items on the list, there were six things I found out about Marathon Girl that I didn't know about. Marathon Girl found out seven new things about me. We thought it would just take 30 minutes to run through the lists. Instead we ended up talking late into the night and had a lot of fun doing it. In a way I felt like we were sitting on her kitchen floor again. Just the two of us and me falling head over heals for her.

It's easy become so accustomed to a person being part of your everyday life that you don't notice how they change in little ways. Sometimes if these changes go unnoticed for a long period of time, you wake up one day and realize that you're married to a complete stranger.

I'm glad I had the chance to get to know Marathon Girl all over again and realize how fortunate I am to be married to such a wonderful woman.