Dear Mike Maroth: The Red Sox roughed you up in the fifth inning yesterday. The two-out grand slam was enough for them to win 5-3 and hand you your second loss of the season.
Yes, baseball can be rough and even great pitchers such as Roger Clemens and Nolan Ryan gave up grand slams occasionally.
But I have an idea. One that can get you back on the winning side of things.
Me.
Wait. Don't stop reading. Hear me out.
I've seen you pitch twice. The first was your second major league start. You were facing the defending World Champion Arizona Diamondbacks in Phoenix. You pitched eight solid innings and allowed only three runs. You pitched better than Curt Schilling! It was a great game. And I was glad to be there to watch it.
The second time was the next year in Denver. It was a dark year for the Tigers. They lost 119 games that year. But on that day you shone. You pitched six strong innings and allowed only three runs. I cheered loudly from the mezzanine behind home plate as the Tigers won 7-5.
Remember those games? See the connection? I was there. You won.
My proposition is simple. Fly me out (coach is fine) to every game you pitch. Home games, away games. It doesn't matter. I'll be there. I'll sit in the stands and cheer for the Tigers. With me in the stands, you'll dominate. Just think. You could become the first 30 game winner since 1968.
This is a win-win situation.
Think of your career. Think of the money you could make after wining 30 games.
Think of the only Detroit Tiger fan in Utah.
You deserve it.
So do I.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Your fan,
Abel