Getting Over Grief and We Are Marshall

 

Anyone looking for a good DVD to rent this weekend might want to consider the recently released We Are Marshall.

For those who are rolling your eyes thinking that We Are Marshall is just another sports movie about a team that has to pull together and win, you're only partially right. The movie is about building a new football team from scratch after most of the players and coaches of Marshall University are killed in a tragic plane crash in November 1970. But that's just the setting of the movie.

We Are Marshall is really a movie about dealing with death and loss and how individuals and communities cope with the loss of loved ones. It's a movie about those who choose to move on and those who want to let the past hold them back.

And the desire to be held back by some sense of mourning is tempting. The university considers canceling the football program but only the quick thinking of one of the surviving football players convinces the board of trustees to let the football program continue.

Then there's Red Dawson (Matthew Fox), the only member of the coaching staff who wasn't on the plane because he opted to drive home and make a recruiting stop on the way. He's wracked by survivor's guilt, the loss of his mentor Marshall's head coach Rick Tolley (an un-credited roll by Robert Patrick) -- and the fact that he personally recruited many of the players who died after promising their mothers he'd watch after them while they were on the team.

After the program is reinstated, Dawson is offered the head coach job. He turns it down and spends his time building a shed in his back yard. Returning to football -- a game that he loves -- is something he doesn't want to do.

Jack Lengyel (Matthew McConaughey) takes the job that no coach in the country wants: building a football team from scratch in the shadow of dead players and coaches. Not only does he have to field a team, he has to help Dawson (who finally agrees to be an assistant coach for one final year) and the university president, other players, and members of the community to know that the best way to accept their loss and climb out from under the shadow of the dead is to play football.

In one emotional scene following the blowout loss to Morehead State, Dawson tells Lengyel that they aren't honoring the dead because he thinks the team is playing poorly and losing. Lengyel fires back that the Marshall football program isn't about winning right now but healing the community and the individuals who are still mourning over loved ones. He tells Dawson that building a football program, even one that's only marginally successful is about giving the people a chance to rebuild their lives. He tells Dawson:

One day, not today, not tomorrow, not this season, probably not next season either but one day, you and I are gonna wake up and suddenly we're gonna be like every other team in every other sport where winning is everything and nothing else matters. And when that day comes, well that's...that's when we'll honor them [the dead players and coaches].

In another scene, the morning before Marshall's home opener, Lengyel takes his team to the resting spot of six unidentified players. He gives them an inspiring speech about the dead players and coaches but at the end proclaims, "The funerals end today!"

His message is clear: stop living in and thinking about the past. Instead start doing what you were put on Earth to do and start living again.

Despite the dark and sad feeling that penetrates the movie, we see how players, individuals, and the community are slowly moving on with their lives.

We see an unopened case of beer that was to be used to console the players before 1970 teams' win before the fateful crash, sitting untouched until a new player opens a can and is joined by others. We see the fiance of one of the dead players take the advice of the should-have-been father-in-law and leave Hunington, West Virginia to move on with her life and not be held back by the past. And we see how the community celebrates the re-built team's surprising victory against Xavier by staying on the field for hours after the game.

Sadly, not everyone makes the decision to move on and we are shown how their decisions contrast with those who move forward.

Losing a loved one can be difficult and We Are Marshall portrays that agony in very heart wrenching scenes. But it contains a message of hope and shows how an individual and community can move on after the tragic death of a loved one -- even many loved ones -- and become stronger in the process.

We Are Marshall

Phone Call

Receiving phone calls all day can sometimes be a hassle and a little stressful. Thankfully, you can hire telephone answering services to take your calls all day. Finding a great call center service can be the difference between being swamped with telephone calls all day and being able to focus on other things. Find answering services in your area and leave your phone at home!

I'm in the midst of preparing for my radio show when the cell phone rings. Caller ID shows it's Marathon Girl. Marathon Girl rarely calls while I'm preparing for my show unless it's important. I answer the phone hoping that everything is okay.

"What's up sweetie?" I say.

Silence.

"Marathon Girl?"

I listen for sounds that Marathon Girl's in the car or other signs that she accidentally dialed my number. I hear nothing.

"Is everything okay?" My heart rate increases. What if something's seriously wrong with her or one of the kids?

Then I hear the soft sound of breathing on the other end of the phone.

"Aidan?"

"Hi, Dad," Aidan says. "Can I watch Cars?"

I let out a sigh of relief. Aidan's dialed my number. This is the first time he's ever called my phone. I wonder how many other people he' called before reaching me.

"No, Aidan. You can't watch Cars. You've already seen Cars once this week. Play with your toys."

"Can I watch Cars?" Aidan asks again.

"No," I say. "Play with Steven."

"Steven's playing with trucks," Aidan says.

"Where's mom?" I ask.

"Molly's sleeping"

"I need to talk to Mom, not Molly."

"Molly's sleeping."

We go back and forth like this for another minute. Finally I have to hang up because I need to head to the radio studio and go on the air.

"I have to go Aidan," I say.

"Bye, Dad," Aidan says in a chirpy voice.

I head to the studio with a smile on my face. The kid has just made my day. On the way over my cell phone rings again. It's Aidan calling back. Wanting to talk to Daddy. My smile gets bigger as the show goes on the air.

What a great kid.

Vaccines cost less without health insurance

While vaccines might cost less without health insurance, the cost of other health services can be deflected with the help of great affordable health insurance. The cost of obtaining quality health insurance can seem like a lot, but the benefits of insurance should outweigh the costs. It’s easy now to find cheap health insurance if you know where to look.
Due to the job switch, the family is temporarily without health insurance. (Fortunately, we should have some by the end of the month). While Marathon Girl and I have been working to find some coverage, Steven's four month checkup came due. Paying for the checkup wasn't an issue but with the routine vaccines Steven needed, Marathon Girl worried that the doctor's visit was going to be somewhat expensive.

I told Marathon Girl that since we didn't have insurance, the vaccines would probably cost less. Though I wasn't 100 percent sure, I remembered a story a coworker at my last place of employment told me. A few years ago he was in a similar situation (no health insurance and his daughter needed some shots). When he told the doctor he didn't have health insurance, the doctor told him that the vaccines would cost less.

Marathon Girl called me after the appointment to tell me I was right.. Shots without health insurance are a lot less expensive. A shot that would be billed to health insurance as $50 cost us only $11. Another would have cost $60 if we had insurance only cost us $10.

I know the health insurance industry is messed up and is in dire need of some market-related reforms. But the fact that shots cost that much less without insurance is a bit perplexing. I understand there are some overhead costs when dealing with insurance companies but I would expect the cost to be a couple of dollars here and there, not $39 or so per vaccine.

If anyone can provide some insight as to why there's such a cost discrepancy, leave a comment or send me an email.