Widowers and Unsupportive Adult Children

Not everyone is happy when a widower starts dating again. Often, the widower's adult children are the ones who have the hardest time with it. What can a widower do about this?

In this video, Abel Keogh discusses some tips and strategies that can help the children of widowers understand where their father's heart is and how to help soften their own hearts and support their widowed father's decision to date again.

Widowers and Social Media

Social media is the gateway to the soul. Seeing what photos and stories widowers share can give you incredible insight how far along they are in their grief journey and whether they’re ready to open their heart.

In this video Abel Keogh discusses hot social media issues and answers these 5 pressing questions:

1. Should widowers post memories and photos of their late wife?

2. What's the best way to handle social media torchbearers?

3. Should the widower delete past photos of his late wife?

4. What should be done with the late wife's social media account?

5. When should widowers update their relationship status on social media?

Loving the Widower's Children When they Don't Love You

What do you do when you want to love the widower's kids but they don't love you? Often the widower's children aren't thrilled that their father is dating again. Because of this they may act rude toward his new girlfriend or trying to sabotage their father's new relationship. This often leads to tension and anger between the widower's girlfriend and his kids.

In this video Abel Keogh discusses three reasons you need to show kindness and love toward the widower's children and how being bitter and angry will only lead to the end of the relationship with the man you love.

How to Tell if a Widower's Behavior is a Red Flag

If the widower is wearing his wedding ring, is that a red flag? What if his late wife's clothes are still in the closet or he can't stop talking about her? Are these red flags that he's not ready to date again? Are you sure? In this video Abel Keogh shows you how you can tell if ANY widower behavior is a red flag or if he's ready to move on and open his heart.

Need to talk about your relationship with your widower? Set up an appointment with Abel.

Why we keep the memory of my husband’s late wife alive for our children

From the Washington Post:

On a bright and breezy day in June, I walked across the street to collect the mail. Amid the bills, coupon mailers and furniture brochures, I spotted a quilting magazine. I knew it wasn’t for me. I can’t hem a pair of pants. It was for my husband’s first wife, Sherise, a woman who skillfully crafted quilts, blankets and holiday table runners.

Sherise died in a car accident 13 years before that magazine arrived in our mailbox. During our decade-long marriage, Brandon and I have moved so many times even our own mail doesn’t get forwarded. But Sherise’s quilting magazines? They always make their way to our kitchen table with her name affixed to the label.

***

Even before Brandon and I married, I recognized that honoring Sherise’s memory was a part of appreciating my husband’s capacity to love and grieve. So when our boys came along, we didn’t hide Sherise under a metaphorical quilt. But we were strategic about when and how we told them about her.

***

Wrapping my children in quilts that had belonged to Sherise’s children wasn’t a conscious decision. When my boys outgrew their baby blankets, we scoured our closets for larger ones. Each kid had their pick of about a half dozen. Now, as my boys snuggle up in her handiwork, I’m struck by how these keepsakes act as a bridge between then and now. I want my boys to understand that just because a person dies doesn’t mean their spirit — the essence of who they are — dies, too.

So, we celebrate Sherise by regularly indulging in her favorite things. We eat Reese’s peanut butter cups on her birthday and buy roses and stargazer lilies on the day she died. We keep a photo of Sherise and her two children in the upstairs hallway and a street sign with “Sherise Dr.” adorns the twins’ bedroom wall as part of their planes, trains and automobiles decor. But the most tangible link to Sherise is our loving beagle, Charlie. Now more white than brown, and with only three legs to hobble around, he was a gift from Brandon to Sherise on her 33rd birthday. Every time I look at him, I think about his two lives — one with Sherise’s family and one with mine.

Read the entire article at the Washington Post.

I thought the most interesting part of the article was that the author and her husband keep his late wife’s memory alive even though there are no biological children.